Project/Object
2006 12 28
Baltimore, MD
The 8x10

SOURCE:
House Matrix (SBD + matched audix scx-25 > patch bay > RCA red/white connectors to 1/8th inch > Roland Edirol R-09 [line in w/ 44.1 / 16 bit wav] > CDWAV (tracks split, saved as FLAC level 8) > foobar2000 (tags, ReplayGain) > FLAC frontend (fingerprints).

LOCATION:
Inside a little plastic/metal/wooden box.

SPECIAL NOTES:
Levels fluctuate at the start of both sets, second set is a little louder than the first. Really subtle shit that you have to be really wanting to hear before you'll really notice it. A little bit of distortion in the vocals during "Sy Borg".

QUALITY:
A+/A

TAPER:
ZaPenguin (pjzyhfz02(AT)sneakemail.com or
http://db.etree.org/ZappaPenguin)

SEEDED:
To DimeADozen on December 29th, 2006


THE BAND:
Dave Johnsen: bass, vocals, being tall and skinny
Eric Svalgård: keyboards, Moog synthesizer, theremin, samples, vocals, sports coat & Santa hat
Eric Slick: drums, vocals, teenaged enthusiasm
André Cholmondeley: guitar, vocals, samples, presidential impersonations
Robbie "Seahag" Mangano: guitar, vocals, impossible guitar, air supply
Jordan Shapiro: synth, Fender Rhodes, vocals, man of few words
The Legendary Ike "Ike" Willis: vocals, guitar, conducting, banter, celebrity smile & sweat towel


SET 1:
555
I Have Been In You >
Flakes >
Broken Hearts are for Assholes >
I'm So Cute >
Honey Don't You Want a Man Like Me? >
What's New in Baltimore >
Montana
brief mandolin jam (incl. George Dubya routine) >
Big Swifty
Easy Meat (1978 version)

SET 2:
Inca Roads >
Sy Borg >
Baby Snakes >
Wind Up Workin' in a Gas Station >
Village of the Sun >
Enchida's Arf (of You) >
Don't You Ever Wash That Thing? (incl. All Out of Love [Air Supply], Santa Claus is Comin' to Town; q: Sex Machine [James Brown], Drop Dead [Frank Zappa])
Pick Me I'm Clean (early 1980 version)
Ross Perot routine >
Apostrophe (')
Zomby Woof

ENCORE:
Peaches En Regalia

NOT PLAYED BUT ON THE SETLIST AS A FINAL ENCORE:
Keep it Greasy >
Outside Now


IN THE WORDS OF IKE WILLIS:
"Remember: This is the first show of our last 2006 tour, and we're starting it here in the good ol' whatever-the-fuck".



BACKSTORY:
Imagine my surprise and delight when, during a frenzy of desperate perusal, I happened to notice this show on Pat's District (a little webpage devoted to listing most, if not every, show in the Maryland/Delaware/D.C./Nothern Virginia/parts of California (!?) area). Truly surprised and delighted was I, as I had acquired a brand-new spiffy recorder that I had been aching to try out.

Of course, hampering my teenaged efforts to attend this show was the daunting stretch of asphalt officially known as "Interstate 95", and unofficially known as "that fucking ungodly stretch of godforsaken road where innocents come to die". I-95 is populated mostly by suicidal lemming drivers, who are oftentimes accused of making daily commutes from New York City to Washington D.C., and rightfully so. Do not, ever, for any reason whatsoever, take the word "lemming" to mean a relative innocent victim of circumstances. These creatures are jaded as bitter fuck - as well they, or anyone who subjects themselves to such a commute on a regular basis - and see no point in those silly numbers posted on white signs at constant intervals along the road. Research indicates that, when driving, they are for all intents and purposes blind, relying on a relatively sophisticated mixture of advanced sonar and distant wavelength detection to avoid becoming road paste.

Perhaps I'm a little biased against these creatures, as it was my first rush-hour highway journey in a little over a year, and as a result had lost touch with my own inner sense of suicide.

The 8x10 - or the Funk Box, as it used to be / still sometimes is called - is a relatively small sized venue near Baltimore's lovely inner harbor, and right down the block from the world's largest fucking pothole, which - naturally - I hit at a healthy pace on my way in. The unique aspect of the 8x10, and what truly sets it apart from most other small venues, is its outstanding, personable ownership, and the forward-thinking taping policy they've implemented.

After making the mistake of booking Tea Leaf Green and witnessing their tapers occupy nearly the entire front balcony, the 8x10 implemented a new policy: No audience microphones permitted. Yet, rather than leave it at that, they also implemented a second policy: Most, if not all shows, will feature free, easy access to a patch bay, containing a SBD/AUD house matrix. Somehow this failed to make a dent in the whining bitchiness of the Tea Leaf Green tapers, and whilst Googling around for details on another venue's taping policy, I happened upon a most unnerving thread, whereupon the aforementioned Tea Leaf Green tapers (henceforth referred to as "whining assholes") were attacking Brian, the owner of the 8x10, for this policy. Even having never been to the 8x10, I was already on Brian's side - if he was saying "no taping, period", or "we done has this pair o' micree-phoneys from the Radioed Shack, y'all can use them", it's one thing, but Jesus Christ here he is spending thousands of dollars on a setup, including a patch bay, instituting a cheap duplication service for bands that are hard-core into taping (I believe the cost of a burned CD-R is nominal, and it's ideal for smaller/local acts), and you dipshit fuckasses are still attacking him. Yet another reason why a good percentage of hardcore tapers can piss up a Schopes. After actually going to the venue and seeing the limited floorspace, I've upgraded that conclusion to "piss up a big chunky Radio Shack vocal microphone" because oh Jesus.

Anyway, long story short, Brian's a really nice guy, the entire staff of the 8x10 is neither disinterested nor rude (in the grand tradition of smaller venues), and the drinks are remarkably reasonably priced ($3 for a tap beer? I've obviously spent too much time getting raped by venue bars because I consider that an outstanding deal!). I'll hopefully be attending several more shows in the future, time and suicidal sixth sense permitting.

So eventually, I somehow managed to arrive at the club - without even remembering to bring my directions - and parked a few blocks down - a bit of a mistake, considering that on my way back to my car after the show I encountered a relatively charming, personable fellow who I'll call "Gary" (as I believe that was his name) - a member of Baltimore's predominant night-time species, the crack-head, who adopted me for at least twenty minutes. Rather than subject anyone to my lengthy spiel(s) about how everybody deserves a chance at life and everybody just wants to be loved and how crack is probably the worst thing besides beaucracy to hit humanity and about how had it been daylight or a relatively populated area of town I probably would have been quite more comfortable and generous with my attention, I'll just say that the streets were deserted, the guy was showing me his martial arts thumb-breaking tactics, and I couldn't help but remember all those idiot stories about how crackheads were likely to go off suddenly and kill a man by strangling him in the gaps between their teeth. After a brief brain-teaser, interrupted by several philosophical theses ("crack... is psychological"), I eventually scurried - with my tail between my legs - to my car, apologizing but mentioning that it was a late hour and I needed to return home. Believe me when I say that I still feel slightly guilty over this; and believe me when I say that I am probably Not Normal for it.

Non-linear tagents momentarily aside, I arrived at the 8x10 and claimed my ticket.


STORY:
As far as the show goes, a resounding success. Project/Object has always been my personal favorite of the Zappa tribute bands - not lifeless like the Grandmothers, nor obtuse like the Palmero Big Band, and unlike Dweezil's ZpZ band, these guys are honest, in touch with the fans, and not just some privledged SoCal schmuck riding Daddy's teat to the $50-a-ticket bank.

Surprisingly - or possibly not so surprisingly, considering that several popular jam-bands have toured / guested with P/O - there was a healthy amount of young people, with no less than five (5) audience members still in their high school days. It's heartening to overhear kids who weren't even born when Zappa played his last tour that "all they ever listen to these days is Zappa", and to see some teeny-bopper singing every single word to classics like "Wind Up Workin' in a Gas Station" (a feat which even this noted Zappa listener cannot predictably pull off at any given moment). So heartening, in fact, that I'll end this paragraph here - no doubt we've already had our fill of winter-time glurge.

To be honest, this was surprisingly polished for the first show of the tour, and I'll no doubt incite some hard core member of the Zappa community (possibly even myself at a later date) by mentioning that at times, this band could be compared to - even mistaken for - an actual Zappa lineup.

Highlights, to these ears, include the heavy metal version of Easy Meat, every single note, chord, sample, and gesture that Eric Svalgård played or made, the guitar solo within Inca Roads (perhaps not quite up there with the legendary solos from 1979, but truly comparable to the 1974 and 1988 outings), and the twin absolute show-stoppers of the night: The solidly stupifying "Don't You Ever Wash That Thing" (in this taper's humble opinion, Project/Object's signature song) and the just-flat-out-sick-as-fuck Apostrophe ('), which had audience members - and Ike and Andre - literally slack-jawed with amazement at points. Yes, that first solo is a bass, even if it's being treated like a guitar.

The low points, to these ears, are few and mostly niggling. Secret Word use is minimal and random, with no broad, overarching theme to tie it all together. The bass solo in Apostrophe (') should have included a moment without drums for maximum effect. The monster songs are both relatively short, though each packs the maximum punch into the relatively small time slots. I guess my single criticism that can possibly hold water would concern the early version of Pick Me I'm Clean -good keyboard texture, but the "fast" bareback/wetback/way back/get back section sucks, and that guitar, while nice, is hardly the sick whirlwind that this Fall 1980 fan is biased towards -- not to mention that Ike's introduction is wholly incorrect, as the events detailed within the song did not occur until the second leg of Ike's first tour, and the song itself doesn't premire until the Feburary 1980 rehearsals, Ike's -second- tour with Zappa. It's mistakes like these that turn us Zappaholics into frothing flaming idiots - I think I'll go cuss out some club manager for giving me a patch bay or something.

All this aside, a superb show - and having Seahag back is simply tremenjious! Here's hoping for more P/O in 2007 - maybe even a multiple-night Baltimore/D.C. run (one can dream).


PRETENTIOUS LEGALESE:
Do not sell this recording. Do not buy this recording. Do not sell this recording, then buy it from yourself. If you find yourself adopted by a crackhead, stay calm, cool, collected, and level.

Include this source information when trading.


++
UNDER ABSOLUTELY NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER MAY YOU, THE ALLEGED DOWNLOADER OF THIS FILE AND/OR ET CETERY, AS REGISTERED BY THE HIGHLY CLASSIFIED AND FALSIFIED USA GOVERNMENT TRACKING PERMIT #0421416891, CONVERT, ENCODE, DECODE, OR RECODE TO THE UNTRUSTWORTHY, SHAMEFUL, MALODOROUS, AND DOWNRIGHT UNETHICAL FORMAT KNOWN AS ".SND"! IT IS THE FORMAT OF SHYSTERS AND MALIGNANT CROOKS!

IF I, THE TAPER AND TORRENTER OF THESE HERE FILES, CATCH YOU CONVERTING IT, I, LIKE ANY PROUD AND HIGHLY ESTEEMED TAPER, SHALL CHOKE YOU WITH MY GIGANTIC THREE FOOT PREHENSILE PENIS, WHICH GROWS LARGER WITH EVERY DEMAND I IMPOSE UPON YOU!
++


==============
Feel ABSOLUTELY FREE to convert to MP3, OGG, or even, under particularly
dire circumstances, WMA/AAC. There are people out there who are bandwidth
or disk-space deprived, and there's absolutely no reason why a bunch of pretentious
taper egos should cause these potential fans to miss out on a new experience.
==============
==============
THIS RECORDING LEFT MY COMPUTER WITHOUT ANY TRICKERY. FEEL FREE TO ADD NOISE REDUCTION
OR REMIXING OR WHATEVER DEVILRY YOUR TIN-EARS CAN TOLERATE, BUT DO NOT SHARE THE RESULTS
OF YOUR HARLOTRY WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE TAPER. Preferably in Latin.
==============


Those of you uneasy about ending up with MP3 sourced material in trade (thanks to dangerous, sassy rebel upstarts like myself telling the new owners of this file to do as they please) should do yourselves a favor, and visit http://www.audiohub.org/get/fa/fa.htm - a webpage that explains, on pretty idiot-friendly level, how to detect lossy sourced audio, using free programs such as EAC and TAU. When setting up your trades, ask for a minute long .FLAC sample, if you're that utterly paranoid, and you can see just what kind of lineage you're getting.



And, finally, to borrow a line from one of the classics of American TV:
Keep circulating the tapes (/CDs/DVDs/Hard drives/Shows in general)


Support the band, see Project/Object live!
http://www.projectobject.com/body_tour.shtml


Support the band, visit their webpage:
http://www.projectobject.com/


Support the venue - check out their calender:
http://www.the8x10.com/index_content.html (warning: Flash)


Stay alive - don't drive I-95


ZaPenguin (pjzyhfz02(AT)sneakemail.com or
http://db.etree.org/ZappaPenguin)